My mind has a mind of its own

At times, my mind will disregard my body and spirit just to have its own way. This was one of those times. So, my body responded in kind – it fell apart. From the middle to the end of 2005, I felt horrible. I was so tired. Crazy of me to think I should still try to find a job at this point. I just could not connect the dots between this new array of symptoms and the only thing I knew was wrong (those dang fibroids). I blamed the symptoms on everything else. Oh, I must just be out of shape or not eating properly or just not getting enough sleep.

Why was I so stubborn? I was forever telling loved ones to “GO TO THE DOCTOR” if they didn’t feel the least bit well but me? Noooooo. I maintained this drained state for months. Almost no energy. Stayed on my couch just about all day every day. Very still. If I sat up too fast, my heart would race. Going upstairs or just walking down the hallway left me gasping for air. To cobble together my remaining patches of sanity, I stayed on my laptop. Spent many hours researching geeky science stuff. Found tons of papers to read. I even discovered whole textbooks online. My computer was my lifeline.

So, what FINALLY made me get off of the couch and crawl to the doctor’s office? Two things. I felt faint just about all of the time and my vanity kicked in. I’m normally not one to focus on the superficial but I looked into a mirror one day and saw Zombie #13, an extra from a very bad horror movie, staring back at me. My body won. My mind was forced, kicking and screaming, to go to the doctor.

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Posted in Body, Fibroids, Geek, Health, Life, Medicine, Mind, Personal, Random Notes, Spirit, Symptoms, Women's Health. Comments Off on My mind has a mind of its own
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