Bottom line…I was obsessing over the concept of general anesthesia. Don’t get me wrong, it has been a blessing to the field of medicine. The problem is me and my mind and the issue of control.
I have accepted the fact that my body must sleep. It needs rest and my brain needs a break from external stimuli. That’s not a problem because I know if I hear a loud thud or if an earthquake strikes, I’ll wake up. I do not like the idea of being unconscious. My brain does not want to deal with that loss of control. It’s not fear. I truly believe that. I jumped out of a plane before…the first time I flew. Believe me, it’s not fear. It’s me trying to deal with the fact that decisions will be made and things will be done without my awareness.
As someone who looks for the tangible, I will truly have to walk on faith with this one. My mind and body will be out of the equation. My spirit will take the lead. That is my lesson. What I will focus on. No mind. No body. Just spirit.