MRI as a catalyst for spiritual awakening (part II)

Perhaps had I not been required to enter the MRI scanner headfirst, my brain would have behaved differently. Having considered myself a pretty civilized individual (lived with a roof over my head, ate with a fork, read books), nothing prepared me for the instinctive, primal reaction that occurred. “Fight-or-flight” and my mind wanted out. Could physically feel my brain racing around in my skull like some crazed jack rabbit. I was going deeper and deeper into this thing and I believe I was now experiencing a panic attack. My heart was beating out of my chest and I could not catch my breath. Oh, this is not good.

Brain struggled to piece together coherent thoughts. I finally remembered the technologist’s words:

“Squeeze this if you need to come out at anytime.”

The bulb. I have an out. My mind rejoiced. All I had to do was squeeze the bulb. Nothing happened. Yoohoo, hand. Squeeze the bulb. Still nothing. HEY! SQUEEZE…THE…BULB! Oh, it was on. Knock-down, drag-out between my mind and my body. The two had been fighting for decades but this one was on a new level. Like brawl cubed. Colorful language was used. Threats were made. Something about breaking from reality and emotional scarring. I don’t remember it all but it was ugly.

Then it happened. My spirit, normally tranquil, interrupted:

“We need to work together on this. Can’t continue to be sick from the fibroid problem. Must move forward. Time to be logical. Stop panicking. You aren’t sealed in here. You feet are sticking out. You could actually wiggle your way out of here if necessary. Calm down and listen to your CD.”

OK. Yeah. Feet were sticking out. Got happy and started moving my toes. Listed to my music and heard “Stuck In A Moment You Can’t Get Out Of “. Started giggling because I decided that this would be my “fibroid theme song”. The technologist came over the intercom and asked I was all right. I was fine. She started the test, telling me when to hold my breath and when to relax. Between listening to her voice and one of my favorite bands, the 30 minutes passed easily. Came out to get the injection of contrast material and went back in for about 5 minutes. Heard “Beautiful Day“. Yep, it was definitely turning out to be that way.

Note: Seems as though I’m not the only one with an MRI story. Check out: “How Stuff Works“.

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20 Responses to “MRI as a catalyst for spiritual awakening (part II)”

  1. Ellen Says:

    Hi from a total stranger going through the same thing. Just had my MRI this a.m.

    Aren’t you considering the guided ultrasound treatments (ExAblate)? I am hoping that I will be eligible. Three SEDATED hours in an MRI, belly-down, while they blast the fibroids with ultrasound. Better than either embolization or hysterectomy.

    Ellen

  2. EclecticGeek Says:

    Hi Ellen,

    Certain uterine fibroid treatment options aren’t offered everywhere. I plan on presenting information about every option I can dig up but, unfortunately, the choices a woman has will largely depend on where she lives.

    Here’s my post where aiyin left a comment about MRgFUS and a link in case anyone is interested:
    New clinical trial looks to optimize uterine fibroid embolization

    Hope you are eligible! 🙂

  3. aiyin Says:

    Here’s more about ExAblate:
    http://www.uterine-fibroids.org/index.html

    I live in Las Vegas and found out there’re gyneacologists who offer this procedure. I’ll do more research and keep you girls posted.

  4. EclecticGeek Says:

    You’ve been very helpful with information on this procedure. Hopefully, the ExAblate option will be widely available soon. Thanks for taking the time to research and post.

  5. E Says:

    I had a $2500 MRI only to be told that I wasn’t eligible for exablate because my fibroid had T2 spots (spots where blood was feeding the fibroid), but that this was common… what a waste.

  6. EclecticGeek Says:

    The images can be used to evaluate if you are a candidate for other procedures. I’m sure you are feeling frustrated right now but please keep the other options in mind.

    Sorry you weren’t eligible but I do appreciate you visiting and sharing your experience. It really is helpful to hear from those going through this. Thank you.

  7. Ann-Marie Says:

    I had my MRI yesterday and I just thought I would share a bit of my experience with everyone as it really wasn’t the horrendous experience I thought it was going to be! Everyone I had talked to had built it up to be a nightmare and (although I kept my eyes shut for most of it) it was a bit like going on a sunbed! There was a nice warm sensation and the feeling that you couldn’t move but I imagined myself on a sunny beach and if they had only remembered to press play on the cd it wouldn’t have been that unpleasant a trip! Instead I was trying to put song beginnings to the sound of the magnetic whirring. The Killers and Franz Ferdinand both must have had MRIs because it was quite spooky how much it sounded like them! I even caught myself singing Beautiful Day by U2 and a big smile came to my face thinking of your story! Thank you again for sharing your experiences with the world – I don’t think I have gone through this without this forum for support. Just got to get through today to find out my results!! Fingers (and legs!) crossed.

  8. EclecticGeek Says:

    Once you realize that you aren’t sealed in, it gets easier. Will have to try the “sunny beach” imagery next time. Sorry about your music but cool that you created your own. Was not familiar with The Killers or Franz Ferdinand so “inquisitive geek” had to go investigating. (I love it when I learn about new things.) Hmmm. The thought of bands sounding like MRI scanners is intriguing. Yay! You remembered Beautiful Day and my story…and it helped.

    Thanks for the kind words and sharing your experience. Glad you found the site and it has been useful. My fingers (and legs!) are crossed, too!

  9. EL Says:

    Ann-Marie

    Funny I just had my MRI last week and couldn’t stop bobing my head to that techno MRI music. (there was no cd)
    BTW, I had a contrasting agent injected into my arm to get a better view of the ‘broid. I got really nauseaus and dizzy several hours afterwards.

  10. EclecticGeek Says:

    Starting to think this “MRI as music” thing will catch on. 😉

    EL,
    I am interested to see if anyone else posts about reactions to the contrasting agent.

  11. Ann-Marie Says:

    I had the same diziness/nausea thing when I had my MRI and again when I had an isotope x-ray (when they thought the blood clot in my legs had gone to my lungs) – it felt like I had had too many to drink but I slept it off (any excuse for an afternoon nap). I think that your body reacts to anything that goes into it that shouldn’t be there. I have always been a sensitive soul when it comes to things like that!!

  12. EclecticGeek Says:

    I remember being dizzy after the MRI but blamed that on my anemia. Did read this on RadiologyInfo.com about X-ray contrast agent before I had my UFE:

    Allergy to x-ray contrast material: An occasional patient may have an allergic reaction to the x-ray contrast material used during uterine fibroid embolization. These episodes range from mild itching to severe reactions that can affect a woman’s breathing or blood pressure. Women undergoing uterine fibroid embolization are carefully monitored by a physician and a nurse during the procedure, so that any allergic reactions can be detected immediately and reversed.

    You know I had to find a link. 😉

  13. divageek Says:

    umm ok – let’s try again. The Killers rule and I will be thinking of their tunes during my pre-op fun!

  14. Ann-Marie Says:

    I’ve tried to track down the songs that kind of came to my mind during the MRI…a bit of pre-op fun listening homework!!
    Everyday I love you less and less – Kaiser Chiefs
    Somebody Told me – The Killers
    Reason is Treason – Kasabian
    All indie songs really and all (spookily) beginning with the letter K!
    I can’t find the Franz Ferdinand one I was thinking of …I think it was off the first album – obviously not got that uploaded to my iTunes yet!!
    Hope it all goes well!
    Ann-Marie x

  15. EclecticGeek Says:

    divageek:
    Not sure what happened that first time but I zapped it. Best wishes with the pre-op fun.

    Ann-Marie:
    I have to get an iPod! 😉

  16. Anne Says:

    Has anyone actually had the ExAblate procedure? Is there a chance that the fibroids will re-appear? Is this procedure generally covered by insurance?

  17. EclecticGeek Says:

    Hi Anne,

    There are a couple of posts on the site about ExAblate:

    Does anyone have an experience with ExAblate (MRgFUS)?

    New treatment uses sound waves to shrink uterine fibroid tumors

    You will find some personal experiences there. It is not generally covered by insurance because it is so new but you’ll also find insurance appeal information in those posts as well as contact info for an ExAblate Patient Advocate.

    Keep posting if you have additional questions. Take care.

  18. Ann-marie Says:

    Sorry not visited for a while but nearly 6 months post-op I am well on my way to my “normal” life again!!!
    Just had a brainwave tonight and remembered the other song I was trying to think of that reminded me so much of the MRI experience.
    It’s the Kaiser Chiefs with Everyday I love you less and less.
    Don’t know if they have reached the US but you really should give them a listen pre MRI!!!
    I hope everyone is having a successful a recovery as I am and I wish everyone going through the experience that I went through the best of luck. Stay positive and keep smiling!!!
    Ann-Marie xxx

  19. Ellen Says:

    I had my mri and i am a candidate for the exablate.although i have a polyp so they want to do an endometrial biopsy first. i have at least 4 fibroids, the doc says the biggest one is pressing my uterus to one side and pushing down on my bladder.i am praying my insurance will pay for the procedure.Has anyone out there had the procedure that could tell me about it.

  20. Raffaella Says:

    For Ann-Marie:
    Are you still simptoms free?
    Did it start to grow again?
    Can you feel it?
    I am trying to find out if it is a good option for me.
    Thank you so much,
    Raffaella


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